“It’s in our relationship to God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Adonai, The Holy Spirit, Wisdom, Great Spirit, Mother Creation, or a Higher Power. Some agnostics or atheists may have their own views and names. That’s okay. The point is, it’s the relationship with such a power, others, and ourselves that bears out our legacy. If our relationships aren’t healthy, nothing else can be. So, we must start there. Whether it’s in church, synagogue, temple, a mosque, a sweat lodge, a vision quest, or meditation—we reach others by reaching the essence of our being. That essence is love. Even in the Christian Bible, the Torah, the Quran—all Word comes down to the relationships we have, not self-righteousness.”
Kim D Bailey talks more about parents and the LGBTQ community in the second part of her 5 part series.
“My oldest child, Zach, had also been born as a girl to me. We named her Amanda Margaret Renee Lee. When “Mandi” was 10 she told me she was gay. I was okay, a little shaken up but really okay. Ten years later she told me she was going to start the process to transgender, female to male, and came to me first because, “I know you will be the most understanding and I need your support when I tell everyone else.” ‘
Kim D Bailey celebrates her son’s 21st today on #BTLOS
“Many who read my posts or have known me for some considerable time, or have made an effort to know me regardless of how far back our relationship goes, know that I moved back to the Chattanooga area in December 2012 after having been away for about thirty-one years.”
This week Kim D Bailey on #BTLOS looks from the outside, and reflects on going “home” again.
This poem was written in late 2015 after a difficult year spent with my ex, his family, death, and losses of many kinds.
Today, I grieve a marriage ended that started to unravel about the time the subject of this poem was making history. If I’m honest, it started before then. The events which unfolded during my late father-in-law’s illness and subsequent death only reinforced the truth behind the lie.
I read it last night at an open mic night and felt compelled to share it with all of you today.
Thanks to Kelly Fitzharris Coody for publishing this poem in Sick Lit Magazine in 2016.
The maze of hallways all seem
the same, nurses stations with sad
still faces and bent backs,
watching the clock until a light blinks
until another patient wanders past
the invisible fence of the floor.
My father-in-law does not remember
me, a stranger he met when his mind
was already broken,
Sometimes he smiles when I enter
his room, more often he cries
for his momma.
My back bends with the nurse’s
we hold him up to dress or bathe
while he spits curses and yells
then he jokes with the cute blonde
I am weary
I want to go home.
We had one good day
he told me his same old stories
we sang, The Old Rugged Cross,
I’ll cherish, burdens I lay down
the smile on his face
the light in his eyes.
The last week he was in his room
a house much too large for two
my husband and his mother, his brothers
none knew what to do, grief
was a squatter, invisible I wrung my
hands, I felt so helpless.
After we said goodbye to him
the light was gone from us,
wicked wounding words, stricken by fear
faithless, broken we had become
our legacy, lingering loss of trust
a last word for a last word.
My husband’s eyes and hands
dimpled smile so like his father’s,
watching him sometimes frightens me.
Will he forget who I am?
Will we be strangers one day,
or were we all along?
Kim D. Bailey (Deal)
December 6, 2015
For: Bob and Gene, the two real deals. I wish you hadn’t left us. We needed you so.
“Even more infuriating, Senator Warren’s male colleagues were permitted to read that same letter by Mrs. King later. Yes, they did so as a show of support for Senator Warren, but the fact they—the men—were permitted to read it, and only after Sessions was confirmed, is a blatant reminder we have a lot of work to do as women and men for the cause of equal rights, feminism, and equal respect across the board for women in a man’s world.”
Nevertheless, Kim D Bailey persisted this week on #breakingthelegacyofsilence
Thanks to Louise Wareham Leonard for having me as part of her amazing series, 52 Men The podcast.
“A pioneer tells the truth about the aftermath of trusting friends and family with your deepest pain. A brilliant revelatory piece about how people can support you — and fail to support you — and how this can lead to a new stronger life. Thanks Kim D Bailey”
ICYMI: this is my latest column installment, with the first story of how I confronted the man who molested me when I was a girl, and will tie in with a podcast being published today on 52 Men the Podcast by Louise Wareham Leonard.
Kim D Bailey is back for another installment of #breakingthelegacy
“The immense power in that moment overshadowed the day I confronted him about sexually abusing me, that day I walked up to his door in October 2014 while my husband stood in the background. I walked away feeling a sense of peace I’ve never felt in my life to that moment.”