I’m sharing this from a post I put up a year ago on my Facebook page. It remains relevant.
I used to be afraid to speak or write my words. Others bullied and shamed me into silence. I also desperately sought approval from others.
So go on, take back your power. Claim it if you never have, re-claim it if you surrendered it.
This is your life, not anyone else’s.
This is a reminder to myself and others that it’s okay to love yourself even when others won’t love you and even attack and criticize you, behind your back or to your face, for your authenticity.
May 4, 2015
If someone turns their back on you for standing up for yourself against personal attacks by people they deem more important than you, it is probably best they did. They let you know who your real friends/family are–and those who are not. They revealed that their love and acceptance of you is quite conditional. Whomever I choose to allow on my Facebook friends list is not anyone’s business but my own. What I choose to say to someone for their rude behavior towards me is my business as well. My decision to remove someone from my life here, or otherwise, based on how that particular person treated ME, is also my own to make and is not predicated by anyone’s permission or approval. I’m quite sure that if someone spoke to those who sit in judgment of me the way I was spoken to in the last several days…by people who hardly know me and have provided zero support during the last several and, I might add, quite difficult weeks, they would be just as quick to remove that kind of negativity. The difference between myself and those who cut me off? I would not punish and exile them for their decision, even if the person they removed was someone I know and care for, especially knowing that the person(s) I know and care for talked to my friend or family member in such a harsh and hateful manner. I rarely throw the first punch, though I have at times and was immediately remorseful because it hurt someone I love. However, I’ll be damned if I’ll let someone beat me up without cause. I will come out swinging, and then I’ll walk away. Do you disagree with this post? That’s fine. Disagreement is not cause for disposing of others. Do you think I shouldn’t say this kind of thing, here or anywhere else I choose to express myself, as in my blog or writing page or in person? Is this too personal for your tastes? If so, kindly remove yourself now and save me the trouble later. Real friends and family talk it out and get over it. Talking it out requires that both or all persons involved speak their thoughts and feelings on the matter. They respect one another by LISTENING to one another even if they disagree. (Listening involves hearing what the other person has to say without thinking only of your reply or ignoring their point of view all together). There is not one person reading this who hasn’t been mad at someone they love (unconditionally love, that is) but still worked it out. If you don’t love me without conditions, it’s better I know now. I will help anyone who needs help, to the best of my ability. I will love those who hurt me when I know they love me, too. I will live and let live. However, I will not allow people who sit in harsh judgment of me without cause continue to do so or dictate what I can say, how I say it, or where I say it–especially knowing they have no investment in our relationship. And by the way, a relationship requires two people interacting and understanding, or at least attempting to understand, each other. It requires reciprocity of mutual respect, kindness, and love. My writing, whether here or on my Facebook page or web blog, is mine. I write from my life experiences, and I share thoughts on what I’ve learned along the way because that’s what a writer does. Not everyone out there will like it or find my words touch them in a helpful way. That’s fine. There are many writers out there who have audiences but not one has ever been able to please every person or have their words resonate with every reader. Put me back on the shelf if you cannot appreciate my words without finding a reason to judge and criticize harshly or make it all about you instead of taking it for what it is. Someone else will be happy to read what I write.