I wrote this song for my kids, the ones I miss so much, for the unrequited love.
For the eternal grief and loss I carry while I wait for some miracle of healing and reconciliation.
This is my Mother’s Day each year I don’t hear from them. This is a mother’s heart each day I cannot call.
Can’t We Just Pretend?
I once held you in my arms
Such a tiny fragile life
A child myself, I had become
A mother and a wife
I didn’t have a clue
There were no maps along the way
But I did the best that I could do
To be a good mom anyway
Can’t we just pretend
I’m your whole world again
When we couldn’t stand
To spend a day apart?
Can’t we just begin
From the time I held you within
And you had memorized
The beating of my heart?
From your first words and first steps
To the times you skinned your knees
I tried so hard to help you grow
Into the men and women you would be
And some days all the noise
Was too much for me to bear
But I’d give up all this silence now
If your sweet voice I could hear
If you could see inside these rooms
The shadows of my broken heart remain
regret looms behind the smile I wear
Each time I think of you again
And I always think of you
Yes I do
There’s no way I can go back
And fix the broken places
Erase the painful times we had
Or take away the ugly faces
But I’d give it my best shot
If you could find it in your heart
To forgive me for what I’m not
and let us make a brand new start
Kim Bailey Deal
May 8, 2016
For my kids