I wrote this song for my kids, the ones I miss so much, for the unrequited love. 

Zach, his grandmother Ellen, and me; one day old. July 6, 1986


For the eternal grief and loss I carry while I wait for some miracle of healing and reconciliation. 

My daughter, Robin, a week old; June 16, 1991


This is my Mother’s Day each year I don’t hear from them. This is a mother’s heart each day I cannot call. 

Noah, five days old, March 8, 1996


Wesley, Teddy, Zach, me, Robin and Noah. Christmas 2010

Can’t We Just Pretend?

I once held you in my arms

Such a tiny fragile life

A child myself, I had become

A mother and a wife

I didn’t have a clue

There were no maps along the way

But I did the best that I could do

To be a good mom anyway

Chorus: 

Can’t we just pretend

I’m your whole world again

When we couldn’t stand

To spend a day apart?

Can’t we just begin

From the time I held you within

And you had memorized

The beating of my heart?

From your first words and first steps

To the times you skinned your knees

I tried so hard to help you grow

Into the men and women you would be

And some days all the noise

Was too much for me to bear

But I’d give up all this silence now

If your sweet voice I could hear

Chorus

Tag:

If you could see inside these rooms

The shadows of my broken heart remain

regret looms behind the smile I wear

Each time I think of you again

And I always think of you

Yes I do

There’s no way I can go back

And fix the broken places

Erase the painful times we had

Or take away the ugly faces

But I’d give it my best shot

If you could find it in your heart

To forgive me for what I’m not

and let us make a brand new start

Chorus

Kim Bailey Deal

May 8, 2016

For my kids

6 thoughts on “When Mother’s Day Is Hard

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