Being a word person, and a persistent and mostly logical being, I often want to impart my final words regardless of the outcome. 

Sometimes, however, our words fall on deaf ears. It doesn’t matter how much sense we make. It doesn’t matter how well we say them or write them. 

Some people are constitutionally unable or unwilling to listen to another’s point of view or pain with respect and, if needed, exact change in their own behaviors to support, defend, and heal. 

Despite their claims of love and loyalty, they never get it. They choose their own limited, closed world. They choose to hurt one to protect another less deserving. Or, they are not as invested as they insist they are, so their actions do not match their words. 

This song has always resonated with me because I’ve encountered a lot of people along the way who proclaimed undying love and loyalty for me, only to reach a limited place when they did not approve of me completely. 

When I spoke my truth. When I told my stories. When I separated myself from the herd and made it clear I am my own thinking, feeling, sentient being capable of having different beliefs and views without expecting them to agree with me. 

Unfortunately, their love remains conditional. They expect silence if I am in disagreement with their ideologies or systems of relationship. They expect me to forego my memories for theirs. They expect me to toe the conventional line. They expect me to lie for them, even if that lie is an absence of my own experience or proclamation of my own feelings and memory.

Well, that ain’t happening. 

So, onward and upward. 

Enjoy. 

The Last Word by Mary Chapin Carpenter

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