I’m no expert on love and relationships. In fact, I’ve failed at all of them so far. However, my failures have taught me some important things about life and love, and being my most authentic self.

Here’s a little life and relationship advice from someone who would know because she has learned the hard way:

-If you get married, your spouse comes before the other people in your life. Yes. They. Do.

-Don’t hang on to your past, or it will interfere with your present.

-Be honest. If someone loves you, they will love you no matter what. If you can’t tell the truth, don’t think your lie will hold. It won’t. It will wreck another person’s life. Especially when they ask you up front and want an honest answer, and they eventually learn what you’re hiding.

-A wife is not a mother or maid to her husband, and a husband is not a father or workhorse for his wife (Insert pronouns as relevant for any relationship). If you want to kill your spark, keep calling one another “Momma” or “Daddy.” 

-Women need to feel loved, respected, and valued. Just as much as men do. 

-If you think you have it all figured out–you don’t.

-Change is not only inevitable, it’s necessary for essential growth. If you resist change, you will miss out on better things in the “now” and for your future. Accept the challenge. Stop living in fear.

-No one and nothing is perfect. 

-If you feel marginalized in a relationship, it’s time to question why you’re allowing it, or why you’re in the relationship.

-Being alone is better than being lonely with someone who resists you at every turn, or continues to make you feel dispensable instead of a priority.

-Sometimes, love is not enough.

-Sometimes, giving up is the only option if you wish to realize your authenticity and value.

-Never let anyone tell you that YOU are not ok. No one else is you. Be who you are meant to be.

-Never try to censor another person, especially a writer. Honest writers tend to write the truth, even when veiled in fiction, and you may not like what you see on the page–and it WILL be written whether you like it or not.

-Try to make the most of the precious time you have. None of us know when our time is up. Live life on purpose, instead of passively.

-Unconditional love is only possible if all involved are willing to do it. If you feel you’re giving it your all, and you’re not getting what you need in return, it’s not reciprocal and therefore it’s not attainable.

-Part or all the above may or may not apply to you.

-Do your best. It’s all you can do.

2 thoughts on “Real Advice About Life and Love from Someone Who Learned the Hard Way

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